Life With Alzheimer’s: Families’ Stories

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Credit…Joey Han

To the Editor:

Re “My Mom Showed Me Life With Alzheimer’s Is Worth Living,” by Stephen Gettinger (Opinion guest essay, June 10):

I watched my mom disintegrate over a decade, the dementia robbing her of any semblance of quality to her days. And while I, now 72, am not at the point where I feel that diagnosis is imminent, so many of the symptoms exhibited by the author in the days leading up to his hearing that dreaded word applied to him are now clearly evident in me.

I fear the inevitability of that day. And I wonder, if and when it comes, will I deal with it with resignation or grace? Will I be able to accept my fate and cherish what remains, or rail against the gods for robbing me of my essential being?

Watching my mom disappear from view was one of the hardest things both my sister and I could ever imagine. And though there were moments of light (she sang along with Sinatra tunes even when she could no longer speak), those final years do often haunt me. Both as to the past and the possibility of my own future.

Robert S. Nussbaum
Fort Lee, N.J.

To the Editor:

The beautifully written and supportive essay by Stephen Gettinger about his mother’s journey with Alzheimer’s and his own diagnosis should be read by all families and patients facing this debilitating disease.

We are all facing the “end of life” from the moment of our birth, but with each new arthritic joint, loss of hearing a high note or forgetting a name, the reality of our situation comes increasingly into focus. Adapting and planning are crucial for ending life with equanimity.

I strongly recommend the tools so well assembled by the organization Compassion and Choices. In particular, working through the details necessary to make your wishes known while you still can (if you are facing dementia) could be one of the greatest gifts you could give your family.